I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
