Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Randomize
