I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
