You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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