That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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