What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
