Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
