Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize