wrigley field is MILF paradise
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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