Need sex. Gaining weight.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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