I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize