i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
