You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
