The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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