walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
