Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
