You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
