Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
