When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
