we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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