As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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