yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
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