the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
