Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
