Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
