My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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