Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
