even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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