The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
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