Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
