Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
