the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
