This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
