K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Randomize
