Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
sarcasm needs its own font
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Randomize
