Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I want a musical about memes.
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