people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
