oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Holy sore nipples Batman
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
