What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
