it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
