so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
