Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
