I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
