i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
