Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
