ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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