areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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