No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
smell my finger.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
