someone get that fucking seahorse.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
