i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
