look no pants
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
