this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
