i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
