I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
third nipple confirmed
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
