It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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