just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
