its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
