I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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