She just used a chaser for red wine.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
