Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
