that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
