this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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