There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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