I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
