I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
