her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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