She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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