Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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